Blowing Off the Dust (Again!)

 It's been a while, ya'll. I am here, reading blogs! I just haven't posted. However, things have improved somewhat in my li!fe.

After all the anxiety built up, I called my family doctor. He listened to me, and referred me for some counseling. I have had a few sessions now - and they are extremely helpful. I really do feel better once I have chatted with her. Anxiety is a b!tch, I can tell you that much. 

My family drama seems to be cooled down - my sisters maintain a shaky truce BUT I think my youngest sister having a baby has hopefully helped things ease off. I did advise my older sister to seek therapy, but it takes time, you know? But she definitely needs it (hey, we all do!) Work rolls along, it has been stressful but I am trying to cope. It sucks at times though.

In other news -  I have the chance of possibly owning a place and having rental income? But I am so scared to do it, however my uncle really wants the place to stay in the family so I will be seeing if I am eligible for a mortgage :/ I cannot really afford to rent per se but if my uncle is ok with it, maybe I can pursue that option too, you know?

Tuesday 4 - Brands or Not?

 

Brands or Not??

 Welcome to another of Toni Taddeo's Tuesday 4 and this week we will use one from November of 2018...

1.   Food: ~ Do you buy brand names or go for the cheaper store name brand? - I have no issues with non brand names, depending on the food! I love Cheetos, but I can live with store brand style. Cheese - can do Kirkland from Costco instead of Balderson It really varies. Also, I prefer Mr Noodle to store brand instant noodles.

2.   Clothes: ~ Wear designer jeans/slacks with a brand name or regular department store jeans/slacks? I try now to buy it all on sale - the brands I buy are like the store brand - Dynamite, Garage for example - so not necessarily designer. 

3.   Handbags: ~ Buy a designer bag or look for a less expensive copy? I don't even like handbags anymore, LOL. But I go for a cheap brand whenever possible.

4.   Shoes: ~ You get the drift, designer or a cheaper copy? Brands all the WAY! But, have no issues getting them second hand, and prefer to buy them on sale :) but I definitely don't buy non brand unless I really like it or it is super cheap, lol!

Nassau Pics - pt 2

A beautiful palm tree - I loved seeing all the flowers and trees blowing in the breeze!

The water at the beaches I went to, had lots of the mossy stuff. So, I swam very little - it also was windy, and rocky so the swimming was not ideal for me!

The water still was pretty beautiful, even though not my cup of tea.

 I saw a few cats - I love cats, so this was great! I am not a huge picture gal, but this was pretty much my trip, LOL.

I Am Not A Great Blogger but here are some Vacation Pics! (pt 1)

 Funny how that works, eh? I do love to talk, but I am not great about committing to write here, lol! After my last post, my mom and step dad had already come back from their trip. It has been interesting, I don't know what they have decided between them. But, it seems a bit better. I am stressed with work, and life as per usual. I did go on vacation, and I have a couple more trips planned, with one to come in the summer I am hoping :)!!! 

So that is pretty much what I am looking forward to - a ton of travel :) here are some pictures of Nassau. Pricey, but a welcome retreat from the madness. I wish the beaches had been nicer, I would have done more swimming - as you can see, there was a lot of that mossy stuff - in the water, on the shore etc. That was my air BNB - simple and to the point.

This is the Queen's Staircase above - supposedly 66 steps, but there are actually less than that now, due to whatever reasoning.

This is their version of an Umbrella Alley - pretty, a little damaged because of some inclement weather but still pretty!!

Always a While/ A Rant / Vent

 Hello blog land. As usual, I disappeared. I hope everyone is well - I know some folks are traveling, taking time away from blogging etc. The year did not start off well for me. January just had a lot of ups and downs. Mostly downs. I live at home, and my mom and step dad had a huge fight right as they were to go away for a month to Trinidad, and she kicked him out of their room until the night before their trip, and she told him to set a date for separation if he did not sleep on the sofa as he had agreed to. It was very disheartening for me, since my parents are divorced and I lived through that here; so to hear them fight I was absolutely distraught. I spoke to them both, it was tough. My mom has her reasons, I don't blame her. He can be tough to deal with; but in all honesty so can my mom. They have returned from their trip and are OK?  I don't know. My friend says I need to take this as a sign that I need to learn to have tough discussions/ understand that sometimes difficult discussions need to be had, and that sometimes folks fight.

I have a lot of unresolved sadness around my parents divorcing, their marriage prior to that even. It's been made more difficult by the fact that my dad refuses to do anything if my mom is coming to the same event - making holidays and get togethers hard. This time last year, it felt like everyone was fighting over my sister's wedding. This year, it felt like my family was still fighting - and now this between my mom and step dad really took the wind out of my sails. As it is, my sister is having a baby and she and my dad had a huge falling out - he was not invited to her baby shower, she didn't even tell him she was having one and I am certain he found out at my other sister's birthday party. So all in all, not a great start to the year. 

I decided my year started with the Lunar New Year - I am hoping it is only UP from here. Thanks for listening/ reading. I hope everyone continues to feel loved and safe.

Happy New Year!

 Here we are in 2024! Last year was a trip, so much joy and so much sorrow :( We had a lovely Christmas period, and went to see my sister in Syracuse for my niece's sweet 16. Unfortunately, sisters two and and four had another huge fight while we were at my sister's (luckily I was not there). I am concerned again for each of them, and for my sister's mental health - but I feel as if I cannot help/get involved anymore. Sigh.

I am working on goals for the year, hopefully working on my money goals if I am not getting a new job (newsflash: I am not!) We have travel plans next year and I would like to travel and not worry about $$$. Maybe a summer job, to save some extra $$$. I cut $25 off my cable package, and hopefully I can cut some other things here and there. Wish me luck. I am sending lots of love to all for a great 2024!

December?!

 I cannot believe we are in December, what a trip. I went to my sister's in Syracuse over the Thanksgiving weekend - it was nice. I confess, it was nice to be there without my dad and my youngest sister - less tension, a bit more relaxed. I really struggle with family dynamics and people being happy/unhappy etc. I just don't bring my issues up with my family but I cannot exactly ignore the tension either. I am still pretty traumatized from all the fighting from my sister's wedding. Then last month, or October, my dad and sister got into a huge fight and that just made things worse. Ugh. So yeah, no bueno there.

But we enjoyed Syracuse - and all of us (minus my dad) will get together next Suday to make pastelles - a traditional Trinidad Christmas dish (cornmeal with minced beef/pork inside and then wrapped in a banana leaf - steamed to cook on Christmas day and beyond!) This will be nice as we have not made them altogether in a long time! 

My friend's surprise party was a big hit. I really got anxious because I asked people to be there for 6:00 SHARP - and NO ONE was on time. I thought it was a big flop and was so upset - but it all worked out and she was truly surprised. I am glad that I helped her husband plan it - maybe she would have been ok for not having a party, but with the year she's had - she deserves it. I am just watching a YouTube video, then off to bed I go - to wake up to Monday's problems at the office -ugh!