Always a While/ A Rant / Vent

 Hello blog land. As usual, I disappeared. I hope everyone is well - I know some folks are traveling, taking time away from blogging etc. The year did not start off well for me. January just had a lot of ups and downs. Mostly downs. I live at home, and my mom and step dad had a huge fight right as they were to go away for a month to Trinidad, and she kicked him out of their room until the night before their trip, and she told him to set a date for separation if he did not sleep on the sofa as he had agreed to. It was very disheartening for me, since my parents are divorced and I lived through that here; so to hear them fight I was absolutely distraught. I spoke to them both, it was tough. My mom has her reasons, I don't blame her. He can be tough to deal with; but in all honesty so can my mom. They have returned from their trip and are OK?  I don't know. My friend says I need to take this as a sign that I need to learn to have tough discussions/ understand that sometimes difficult discussions need to be had, and that sometimes folks fight.

I have a lot of unresolved sadness around my parents divorcing, their marriage prior to that even. It's been made more difficult by the fact that my dad refuses to do anything if my mom is coming to the same event - making holidays and get togethers hard. This time last year, it felt like everyone was fighting over my sister's wedding. This year, it felt like my family was still fighting - and now this between my mom and step dad really took the wind out of my sails. As it is, my sister is having a baby and she and my dad had a huge falling out - he was not invited to her baby shower, she didn't even tell him she was having one and I am certain he found out at my other sister's birthday party. So all in all, not a great start to the year. 

I decided my year started with the Lunar New Year - I am hoping it is only UP from here. Thanks for listening/ reading. I hope everyone continues to feel loved and safe.